NFL Picks sand Predictions week 2

And now from a re-enforced bunker high over downtown Mooseknuckle, the OFFICIAL BANG RADIO HOUR NFL week 2 Picks and Predictions.

Disclaimer: Go ahead, use these for gambling purposes. We’re not responsible for your stupidity.

Sensing headlines, NC legislature enacts law to prevent Colin Kaepernick from using any bathroom in the state. Panthers over 49ers 34-10

In amazing coincidence, both Giants QB Eli Manning & Saints QB Drew Brees look forward to big day against a soft defense. Saints win 34-30

Controversy erupts as Ohio Child Services take boy from home after vid of him getting #Browns jersey for birthday goes viral. Ravens defeat Cleveland 36-20

Patriots coach & life of any party Bill Bellichick decides greeting to Dolphins coach Adam Gase will be “Hope you last a while”. Pats walk 35-14

Vikings suffer setback when newly acquired tackling dummy Sam Bradford sprains eye ligaments speed reading playbook. Packers win 30-17

Hoping to help #Rams give LA crowd a good 1st impression, Seahawks agree to play game with 1 arm tied behind their back. Seattle wins 31-10

Chargers fratboy Joey Bosa misses 2nd game as discipline for yelling “NERDS!” & giving kicker Josh Lambo an atomic wedgie. Jaguars 26-24

Attempting innovative gameplan to stop Cowboys run; Redskins install tollbooth in center of defensive line. ‘Skins win 26-20, collect $165

Massive pillow fight ends in 14 ejections & 145K in fines as intern accidentally books Steelers & Bengals in same hotel. Cincy wins 33-30

Week 2 Lions vs Titans tilt wins weekly prize for being hardest game for idiot podcaster to come up with corny one-line joke. Lions win 36-20

Texas math standards called into question after Texans vow to triple the points they scored in 2015 playoff loss to Chiefs. KC wins 23-17

High flying Cardinals offense issued a stern warning by FAA after straying into commercial flight paths. Buccaneers can’t keep up 37-26

Looking to enhance fan stadium experience, Falcons announce plans to show Buccaneers game on jumbotron. Raiders win 31-24

Colts blame being late for coin toss on contact buzz caught when team bus drove through tailgating Broncos fans.  Denver wins 28-22

FastFact: In 51 of the last 51 years; when Eagles start 2-0 they failed to win the Super Bowl. Trend continues with defeat of Bears 34-23

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